GameZine.co.uk Logo

News Story

Nintendo DS turns children into monsters

Wednesday, 07 May 2008 10:36
Beware, this machine turns your children into layabout scum, apparently
In a sensitively titled article, a Daily Mail columnist has claimed the Nintendo DS turned her children into pseudo-drug addicts and ravenous game-frazzled demons that refused to, among other things, play the cello and open the curtains.

The piece, entitled Ninten-Don't: How I watched my children turn into monsters the minute I bought them a computer game, was penned by Rosie Millard, and gives details of her family's troubles with being unable to resist the lure of DS gaming.

Apparently, she found that leaving four children unsupervised led to arguments about whose turn it was to play. Soon family life turned into a hellish netherworld of gaming addiction.

"It was eight in the morning," Mrs Millard wrote. "No one had eaten breakfast. The curtains had not been opened. The beds had not been made. The dog had not been walked. Our habitual regime of a ten-minute morning music practice had been abandoned."

"Gabriel became obsessed with playing the football game Fifa 08: over meals, on the loo, in bed at midnight ... Our Nintendo had taken the guise of a small but toxic drug which, little by little, was poisoning my children."

"At the same time that all the children started crying and yelling before breakfast, I spotted Phoebe's cello and I realised that she had not got it out of its case all week ... yet she had notched up probably around eight hours on the Nintendo. There and then, I made my mind up. The Nintendo had to go."


Related Stories 

  • Dave Perry doesn't like the new E3, preferring the 'old days' to the brave new world

    Shiny man blasts E3

    Shiny Entertainment founder, Dave Perry, has added his voice to the chorus of boos, whistles and taunts that are ringing out about this year's E3 event. Full Story

Releases 

Previews 

  • She wouldn't be doing that if she was pregnant, which is possible in Fable II

    First Look: Fable II

    While Fable was a very good game, it was a little too ambitious for its own good, and many of the promises that Peter Molyneux made for the game ended up being nixed (Funny how that happens with all of his games – cynical Ed). Full Story

Reviews 

  • Supreme Ruler 2020 offers a hardcore experience for even hardened strategy veterans

    Supreme Ruler 2020 review (PC)

    As if life in the modern world wasn’t a depressing enough experience already, we now have Battlegoat Studios to thank for making it seem that much more futile with Supreme Ruler 2020. Full Story
  • You spend most of your time in Wall-E collecting tubes, something that never happens once in the film

    Wall-E review (Xbox 360)

    I guess you’ve probably already got an opinion about this game, perhaps along the lines of ‘tie-in games of movies are rarely good, and as for Disney film tie-in games. Full Story
  • Purple is all the rage in 40th Century, it seems

    Perry Rhodan: Myth of the Illochim (PC)

    I’m willing to bet there are a substantial number of people out there who have never heard of Perry Rhodan, myself being one of them before this game landed on my desk. Full Story

Charts 

Features and Blogs