Video: Half Life fan fiction steps up

Half Life fan fiction has never been this good, or hilarious, or bad, or a "steaming pile of crap and vomit," as one critic said.

"In the future the world was dark and scarry," begins squirrelking's third Half Life short story, posted on Fanfiction.net "Oh noes," says the discerning internet reader, "there is a speeling mistake!" Which, if this is mock-fiction, is entirely the point. However, if the story is genuine, then this young writer has birthed an iconic writing style.

His third Half Life fan fiction, titled 'Half Life: Hero Beggining,' continues:

"One day Combines came and noone knew why. Combines were robot things that werent robots with ugly faces and sometimes glowing eyes and slaved people in the city and made them angry and sad. Henry Freeman who was living in the city and with his mom said 'mom why are Combines here' and she said 'Henry Freeman Combines are from science and outter space and hate humens.'

"Henry Freeman realy hated Combines because they beat up every one and Henry Freeman hated it. 'mom why are they beating up that girl!' Henry Freeman said to his mom. 'Because she is humen Henry Freeman, and they are evil Combines' Henry Freemans mom said back.

"'Hey you Combines stop beating her up you evil guys!' Henry Freeman yelled loud at them. 'Shut up kid or you will pay!' the Combines said and aimed there lazer guns at Henry Freemans head. 'Combines dont aim your lazers!' yelled mom then the Combines shot her and laughed 'Ha ha stupid humen girl with no head' they said with smiles."

I congratulate you for reading that far without skipping to the video below. If you read that extract without smiles, then it's almost certain that your mind has yet to be graced by the film-depiction created by David "Djy1991" Young. As one critic said in reply to squirrelking's 'Hero Beggining':

"This story is a steaming pile of crap and vomit, but you should be the only one allowed to make these kinds of stories, because even though these stories are atrocities, just picturing a djy-esque movie version of it makes me laugh my *** off."

So sit back, relax, and get ready for a two part attack. You'll enjoy this either if you have a deep-seated love for Half Life, or if you are perturbed by the writing skills of young internet users. Find more on David Young's YouTube channel.



Patrick Steen

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Want to watch something more high-brow? Why not make your way over to Escape from City 17, the first entry in the live-action Half Life film.